It was like clockwork. The first Friday of every month, he’d position himself on the promenade, just outside Frank’s Fish Bar. One time, he’d decked himself out as a one man band and performed a medley of off-kilter tunes. I wondered how long it had taken him to learn to do that. Surely not quite as long as it had taken him to learn to ride the unicycle. He seemed to be of the view that if there was no pain, there’d be no gain. Even though this had been going on for over 18 months now with no gain in sight.

‘Ahhhh, there he is,’ Shelley commented, peering out of the window.

‘Yup,” I said. “there he is.’

‘Do you remember the first time? With the bike and the balloons?’

‘How could I forget?’

Outside, he was getting into position – ready to do who-knew-what.

‘Ooooh, I wonder what it’ll be today,’ Shelley said.

I glanced across the road, but nothing seemed to be happening. He was just stood there, staring in. Eventually, he gave a small shake of his head and walked away.

Shelley let out a wail, grabbing my arm in a panic.

‘Maybe you should have said ‘yes’ last time,” I commented. “After all, covering yourself with bees while holding up a ‘Marry Me’ placard can’t be easy.’

Slamming out of the shop, I ran after him. He’d need a shoulder to cry on. Besides, I was certain he had an impressive diamond – now mine for the taking.